"Come in, and know me better, man!" - me, and the Ghost of Christmas Present.
Hello and welcome to my blog, and an update. I haven't written one of these since 2020, so I'm sure it'll be a brief post, haha!
With the new year recently behind me, I've been feeling both the passage of time, but also the inspiration to do things. One of those things is this, a blog post, to catch people up on where and how I've been, what I've been up to.
Let's start big!...👇
I got married! (kind of)
Juliette and I began dating in 2014. Five years later, we got engaged, and five years after that, we became "PACSés"! The French PACS, or Pacte Civil de Solidarité is a formal civil union in France, and from a legal and public perception perspective, it's very similar to marriage. We had been debating what path to take, but decided that, at least for now, the PACS would be the way to go! Easy, covers our bases, and takes the stress off of things. In any case, we are very happy, and it's great to finally be able to call her my wife.
Next, we bought an apartment!
We had been looking for a long time, but finding something great, still in the city, and not a billion euros was a really tough combination. Finally, we found this place which is an upgrade in every way! It's bigger, has a garden, and parking! (which is really hard to find here) We are currently deep in renovations, fixing cosmetic issues in the walls, replacing the wallpaper, getting new flooring, upgrading the bathroom space; I abhor renovations, but to finally have a place that is our own, that we can change how we want, is pretty great, and I'm excited for when we can finally move in!
We have a cat!
We've had our cat, Lazarus, since before my last post, but I cannot recall if I spoke about him much here. He's wonderful! He's a hairless Sphynx cat (helps with my wife's allergies), he's cute, cuddly, and toilet trained! Did you know cats can be toilet trained? We worked with him on this, and now we don't have to deal with litter! In any case, he's almost 6 years old, he's fantastic, and I'm excited to introduce him to our new garden, and maybe, one day, get him a little brother!
Work is fine!
A few years ago, the company I was working with got acquired. There were some growing pains, and some difficulties, including the time they let a bunch of great people from the group go, and the year that forced me back to Canada for visa purposes, twice, making me miss my wife's birthday and Christmas (woof), but all is well now. My friend who was let go got a better job, and I am in a good place with work, raising my profile to the point I want; where I am able to work on some really cool stuff, with a great team, and be somewhat recognized in my field. I really like my job, not always so much the logistics around it, and for the most part, work is fine.
I got my teeth fixed!
For a long time, I knew I needed braces. But, despite Canada's free healthcare, dental work is not covered. So, a few years ago, when I was in a place both physically and financially enough to work on myself, I started the journey. However, I quickly hit a roadblock: my palate was too narrow. No point in aligning the walls if the house is crooked. When you're a kid, if you have this problem, it's no big deal. They insert a device and slowly widen the palate before adding braces. But, when you're an adult, and your bones have fused...
So, I had to get surgery. They cut open the centre of my upper palate and along the top sides of my gum line. It was a difficult experience. I had to go back under a second time, my eyes were stuck shut afterwards for a few long hours, I barely spoke French so it was tough to communicate, and the nurses failed to tell my wife my status. After leaving the hospital, I could only eat cold, liquid food for a few weeks, and I learned that I really, really don't like that. Wore ice packs on my face, had to sleep sitting up in bed, and developed a strong allergic reaction to the medicine by the end. Months of recovery, then separating my palate, my teeth being wider apart than Goofy, then braces.
Over a year of braces and then, guess what, I needed another surgery! My palate was fine, and my teeth were aligned horizontally, but not vertically. I had a bit of an overbite. So, back under for a second time. This time went alright. Much better than the first, even though I technically had more invasive work done. Braces, braces braces, and then, crowns. 12 of them in fact. As of writing this, I am very nearly done. I need to get a retainer made, and then I'll be all set. It has been a long, long journey. Hours and hours in dentists' chairs, recovery, learning to speak again, breath through my nose, and eat around equipment in my mouth, but after long last, I am finally there. I finally have that Aladdin smile I've dreamed of, and I'm happy.
Took a little getting used to, but my smile makes me happy now. I feel good, and I like the way I look. Everything is healthier now too, and while I wouldn't wish this path on anyone, I am glad I got it done. And I think the results speak for themselves, don't you agree?
Shifting gears a little now, I want to talk a little more about some other areas in my life. Things I'm working on, thoughts around, etc. A little less organized than the tidy sections above.
I've formed a community!
Kind of feels weird to say it like that, but it's true. Years ago, I started a community on Discord for people I played video games with. It was initially just a local hub for coordinating game nights, but it expanded. My friends and I enjoyed helping people, and acting as a counterexample to a lot of the toxicity that is unfortunately way too common online. Since then, the Embrace Destiny Discord community has grown, and continues to serve as a great place to be! Shoutout to my fellow Guardians, I remain thankful for your support! Some nights, I stream our hangouts and exploration of games over on Twitch, come say hi!
I make videos, sometimes!
A few blog posts, and several years, ago, I decided to make a YouTube channel, called Embrace Destiny. I wanted to push myself into learning how to make videos, and edit audio, and I thought making videos about games would combine something I like with something I was working on. The result was a pretty cool channel, mostly focused on discussing, sharing, and analyzing the stories and lore from games I've played. Over the years, I've learned a lot, but I've always found it quite challenging. Writing and reading scripts is my favourite part, while editing videos, even simple ones, always seems to take way longer than I wish.
I haven't made much videos lately, and I think my channel is going to pivot a bit, but I don't entirely see it as a bad thing. Let's dive into why.
I'm pivoting away from Destiny
For years, Destiny and Destiny 2 were my main games. Several nights a week, I would stream that game, sharing gameplay, commentary, and company in Destiny with people watching from all over the world. We had our ups and downs, but mostly up as we explored the game, helped people with quests, and used Destiny as our home-away-from-home, our "water cooler", the place to hang out while we shared time together. Most of my Embrace Destiny videos were, unsurprisingly, about Destiny.
However, in the past two years, things have really begun to shift. Bungie, the studio behind Destiny laid off a lot of people, then did it again, all while news of the CEO buying expensive cars in the meantime kept coming to light. On top of that, the game hit a high point and narrative conclusion after 10 years. So, with all of that, I have felt myself distancing more from the game.
It has been a bit odd, a bit empty, a bit sad. It was a huge part of my life, and a strong part of my identity. It still affects me, as it affected my free time, one of my core communities, and my creative endeavours. Truth be told, it still feels odd, but I am working on focusing on what is really important.
The community, the stream, the YouTube channel, they may have been focused on Destiny, but the core of them was not about Destiny. They were about friendship, passion, enthusiasm, cooperation, and exploring stories together. So, I'll return to Destiny when I feel like it, but in the meantime, I have been finding new things to explore, and older games to catch up on!
French: A lesson in culture, in learning, and in humility
I could, and maybe will, write an entire blog about learning French, but let's stay focused for now. I am Canadian, and our second language is French. I learned it in school, did well, but then didn't use it for all of university. I moved to France, full time, 9 years ago, but despite all of that, I am still only at an intermediate level in French. I am working hard to change that.
It is too easy to avoid French in my life. My work is remote, and all in English. My friends and family speak English, and my wife is bilingual. I have enough skill in French to navigate everyday things, so, with all of that, it is very easy to not work on it. But, it holds me back. It creates a distance between myself and my wife's family, it retains myself as some kind of "other" who doesn't immerse himself in the country and community he lives in, and it makes me feel really lazy.
So, I have been working on it. As of writing this, I have a 2200 daily streak on Duolingo (that's 6+ years!), and I am nearly finished my third course in French! I am currently at the B2 level, which is intermediate, and I plan on applying for French nationality later this year! For that, I will want to really focus on improving my skills, and to learn more about the culture and history of France, as both are tested as part of the nationality requirements.
It's going quite well, I think. I read, listen to, and speak French every day, and I've found some online tests and study materials that will help guide me even more. I have good days and bad, but have found momentum and enthusiasm toward my goal. The whole thing has been very humbling; to go from a confident speaker to a bumbler, to have lots to say and to be quick with a joke, to being surpassed by children around me. It's not easy, but I can see my progress, I feel empowered, and I have great support!
What's next?
Hopefully, lots! We're working on our apartment renovations, and I am very glad for that to be done, for us to move in. There's a lot of potential with the new place (more room, enjoying the new garden, improvements big and small in our day-to-day) and I'm ready for it.
Friends and family. Most of my friends and family live far away. I have been good at maintaining friendships, but it sometimes takes a toll on me, or I doubt their feelings. There has been great strain between my family and me, but I have been making progress on that too. I hope I can find the right balance and support that love in my life.
My Love. Juliette is my heart's guiding star. She makes me eternally and deeply happy and all I want is to return the favour. I enjoy finding new ways to do that.
Confidence! For years, due to a number of reasons, my confidence has slipped away from me. It has come from, and spiralled off into many areas of my life. But, I am seeing a therapist, looking at things with a different perspective, and I can feel my confidence coming back. Feel life coming into focus.
Hiking. One thing not covered above was all the hiking Juliette and I have undertaken. We've been to the Rocky Mountains twice, sang Country Roads while hiking the Shenandoah mountains, and find opportunities to hike as much as we can. It's not nearly enough, but as other areas settle nicely into place, we'll make do.
Adventures and devotion. As grandoise as those words sound, I think they sum up my hope for the future very well. Finding ways to enjoy life more and more deeply, and doing what I can to love, support, and pour my enthusiasm into those I care about. Of course, the world is quite tumultuous, but we will get through it together.
Thank you all very much for reading. Felt good to go through everything and catch you up. While I may continue blog posts, you can find more regular updates on my Bluesky page (posted on the right), or my Instagram (linked earlier, in the marriage section).
Hopefully, you find ways to make you and your loved ones smile. Looking forward to the next one, catch you later!
Hopefully, you find ways to make you and your loved ones smile. Looking forward to the next one, catch you later!
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